||[Sep. 15th, 2005|02:15 pm]
Action: Evan shows up five minutes early for work.|
Reaction: People go into shock.
Action: Evan speaks intermediate level Japanese sentence.
Reaction: Sensei gasps.
Action: Evan expresses a degree of familiarity with Japanese history.
Reaction: Teacher(s) faint.
Action: Evan tells a student that he knows that he's talking about penises and sex around him, because he understands Japanese.
Reaction: Student freaks out.
Action: Evan inquires about how to take his vacation days in Japanese.
Reaction: Teacher goes into stunned shock.
What kind of low-expectation, non-trying motherfuckers had this job before me?!!?
I spent the morning reviewing text recitals, then hit a nice lunch and played soccer with the kids. It amazes me that after years of running, working, and doing physical shit I still have no stamina. I get winded after I take a shit, folks. But regardless, a good time was had by all and now I have the afternoon off... with air conditioning, bit torrent, IM, history book and internet.
How in the hell do I get a full salary and healthcare for this again?
For those of you who've been messaging me about my indepth geekdom, here are some reviews. This is pretty much most of the stuff I've watched in the last 2 months. A few things got left out, but I don't have my DVD case here, so get off my nuts. Some of these are general reviews, and some assume you have some heretofore knowledge of the series. Start paying me and I'll write like I'm from Entertainment Weekly, ok?
Downfall: Solid. Hard to watch, and certainly not popcorn fare, but this movie is fantastic and I can't NOT recommend it to anybody with an interest in Nazi pathos. Hitler is indescribably terrifying and Eva Braun has the kind of awful wide-eyed allegiance that will make you shudder.
Viva La Muerte: Re-watched this Spanish horror/drama/experimental flick that I fell in love with during university recently and decided that it's a classic, and should be highly regarded. Moves fast, deals with heavy themes, has great acting, and dares to provoke for good reason as opposed to using hipster shock value for hipness' sake. Made by a contemporary of Jodorowsky, who directed a film with two of the main characters Fando and Liz entitled Fando y Liz.
Speed Grapher: Wow. Gonzo has "lost they GOTT-damn minds." This show is some of the sickest, most mesmerizing, and awesome shit I've seen in years, anime OR live action. It revolves around a photographer, a secret Illuminati-like society replete with sex slaves and string pulling, and an innocent virginal girl who masquerades, of course, as a Goddess for a collection of high powered pervs. The best thing about it is it's casual brutality... mind-blowing. It takes it's "anime turn" (ie going from one type of series to another, and in the process endangering it's appeal) a few eps in, but so far it's delivered and has avoided even the standard "monster of the week" cliches. I do see a bit of downgrade in animation quality, but hey, it probably runs at 2 AM on a Tuesday. I don't see post-cunnilingus extortion being prime time fair, even here.
Oh, and the theme song?
Full Metal Alchemist: A lot of people have been busting nuts over this show for awhile now. I like it, but it's not top dog for me. However, I will admit that it's wrapping it in an interesting way, although I did feel like it meandered for a bit... "GOTTA MAKE 51 EPISODES!"
I'm sure anybody who's familiar with it by now has already read enough info on it to choke themselves, so I'll just say that I think it's very well done in all aspects, though it does suffer from the afore-mentioned repetition problem.
Samurai Champloo: You know how Cowboy Bebop is the anime series that you show to people who have no interest in anime? SC is that, but with more stabbings, mean-spirited pessimism, humor, and hip hop. One word review? CLASSIC.
Futurama Vol. 4 DVD Box set: Worth every penny. These guys don't just drop a DVD in your lap and shrug. They put out like it's the Houston 500. If you're a fan of the show and you don't own them you're missing so many jokes, stories, and details that it's going to devastate you. Commentaries, extras, and deleted scenes for each episode! You know how some shows will make fun of Al Gore? WELL FUTURAMA BRINGS IN AL GORE TO MAKE FUN OF AL GORE!!!
Robotech arc 2: Southern Cross: Fucking. Boring. Watch this one run out of steam after the roller coaster that was the Macross saga. Dana Sterling switches gears like a crappy second-hand Toyota, and even the action scenes feel forced and uninteresting. How'd have thought that the awesomeness of Macross and Mospeada would need such turd sandwich filling? I'd have licensed something completely unrelated to either and put that in the middle instead... why not Crusher Joe?
Reno 911 Season 2: Great. Want to see Wayne Brady berate the black cop so badly that the black cop starts laughing on camera? Buy this boxed set. Brutal, mean-spirited, and probably way-to-close to home when you think about some of the geniuses who've made their careers in law enforcement. "Bought himself some stick time" might be the best post-ass-beating phrase of the year.
Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle: Really, way, way, way better than I expected. This film is the film for those of us who WISH we had like dumb, stoner, American Pie comedies but instead just get endless piles of steaming dumb, stoner, American Pie comedies.
Holy Mountain: Scares the shit out of you/Entrances you/Scares you again/makes you want to show it to everybody you know. Mexican surrealist journey through life and death. Awesome.
El Topo: Precursor to Holy Mountain. Surprisingly uninteresting when compared to the latter film, but it has SOME moments. Some. It's just rather boring and makes you wonder why so much time seems wasted, despite the cool graphic violence and green blood.
Family Guy movie: OK, um, it feels patched together. Not in a hyper-obvious way, but you CAN sort of tell by how it arcs and moves. But with that said, you know that if you're a fan of this show you HAVE and WILL watch three episodes in a row anyway, and watching a foul-mouthed patricidal baby teach his older self how to have sex with the office lame-frau is so awesome that you'll never regret it.
Family Guy season 4: These guys really came back, huh? Didn't skip too many beats at all. It's hard to talk about a series that's been beaten to death by everybody on the planet and not coming off like somebody who's been locked in a cave for the past year, but the show makes me laugh so hard that I want to launch one out of the fudge tunnel, so I don't feel too bad about it.
Evangelion: Evan-gently-yawns. Who paced this thing? Seriously, what once was radical and wild now seems boring and repetitive. I mean, I enjoyed it, but it just doesn't deliver in the end... even with both movies, etc. etc. I just can't imagine myself getting excited over it like some people do, even with it's thought-provoking writing delving into everything from the spiritual to paternal conflict. A gamble that starts and doesn't finish? A daring break with animated archetypes? An old Japanese dude laughing at us?
The Beyond: Scary. ass. shit. Must see.
Collateral: Really pretty. Well-acted. But, and I must admit a cardinal sin here, I never cared for the characters. They seemed like archetypes taken from a Shadowrun book and stuck in the middle of an example from "How to Write a Movie in 21 Days."
In all honesty though, it's more about seeing Tom Cruise be brutal, but the film is terrifically light in a lot of respects. Watching Jamie Foxx break his shell and threaten to "take his gun and beat his bitch ass to death with it" is good, but the rest of it gives me images of some writer sitting in a room with a typewriter and incense, trying to "See where they come from" while listening to Yanni.
Blackjack: Classic Surgeon-for-hire tale gets a remake. Recipe for nostalgia? Maybe not.
I've been watching various episodes that I downloaded, and you know what? This show is pretty damned good. Sure, I'd like to beat the shit out of the robot girl, but that's the point, right? BlackJack is cold, unfriendly, and harsh until he starts performing surgery on people. Then he becomes human. Wild. And any show where you see a shot of a doctor operating on "you" that originates from BEHIND the wound works for me. Occasionally a bit sappy, but always a good 20 minutes.
And that's all I've gotta say. No more pop culture writing this week.
Good lord, I watch a lot of shit, don't I?